Steven Peters is the host of the “He’s My Girl” podcast, a show that offers relationship advice and relatable stories to the LGBTQ+ community, guiding listeners towards the love they deserve.
5 Tips for Having a Great Dating App Experience
I get it - even though apps like Archer are working to make it more fun, dating can have its fair share of challenges. Finding that perfect match can sometimes feel like a full-time job!
Lucky for you, I’ve made plenty of mistakes - and experienced a lot of growth! - on my
dating journey. Over the years, I’ve learned the ins and outs of navigating dating apps;
from crafting the perfect first messages to securing that initial date. I may not know
everything, but after 16 years of dating, I’m excited to share what I’ve learned to help
you attract the right partner on Archer just in time for cuffing season.
Tip 1: Ditch the Boring “Hi”
Sure, there’s nothing inherently wrong with a basic “Hi, how are you?” but let’s be
honest - YAWN! In a world where everyone is trying to stand out, a stronger opening
message can show your personality and spark more interest. Instead of the snoozefest
“hi,” try commenting on a picture or responding to a profile prompt. For example, if
someone mentions knowing the best spot in town for a skinny margarita, you could start
with, “So, where should we meet for that margarita?” This shows you’re engaging and
interested, not just sending out generic greetings.
Tip 2: Spruce Up Your Dating Profile
Just like you’d update your resume to land your dream job, your dating profile needs
some love too! One of my biggest tips is to make your profile as authentic as possible.
When I first started using Archer, I’d often hear “Wow, you’re not at all what I
expected based on your profile” after meeting in-person. While that third gym selfie
might be cute, try replacing it with a photo of you and your friends on a recent trip or at a
family dinner. This gives potential matches a better glimpse into your life and makes
them eager to learn more about you.
Tip 3: Avoid the Dead-End Conversation
Keeping conversations alive can feel like work, but if you’re serious
about landing that date, you need to keep the momentum going. Nothing is worse than
a chat that fizzles out because no good questions are being asked. Instead of the usual,
“How’s your day going?” try something more engaging like, “What are you most excited
for this week?” If you sense the exchange weakening, reignite it with a unique question
like, “After a bad day at work, would you rather have someone listen to your troubles or
order your favorite food?” Or, my personal favorite, just cut right to the chase and ask them to meet IRL. Most people appreciate people who clearly want to take it to the next level.
Tip 4: Keep it Light and Breezy
There’s no need to dive into deep topics like your dating history or why you’ve been single for a
year. Keep things light and fun! Focus on what brought you both to Archer. Are you looking for the same things? Do you share common interests? Keeping it light not only eases the pressure
but also makes the conversation more enjoyable. Remember, there will be plenty of
time for a deep heart-to-heart later - no need to rush into it in the first few messages!
Tip 5: Know Your “Why”
We all want to find love, especially with cuffing season right around the corner.
However, knowing your “why” is key to the process. If you’re dating with intention, stick
to it. If, after a few messages and a few dates, your gut and heart just aren’t in it - no
worries! This is dating. If you realized you’re not as ready as you thought but are open
to a friends-with-benefits situation, that’s perfectly fine too! The great thing about dating
is that there are no hard and fast rules; you get to create your own as long as you’re transparent about them. Understanding your why will make the process smoother and less stressful. Remember, dating is supposed to be fun, thrilling, and sometimes a little nerve-wracking. Embrace the journey, enjoy the experience, and stay true to what you’re looking for.